Since I got my hair cut on Saturday, 1 person noticed at church, 1 friend noticed when she came over Sunday evening, 1 person noticed at work, 2 people noticed at the chiropractor’s office. That’s right — more people noticed at the chiropractor’s office where we go a handful of times a month than the people who I work with 40 hours a week, every week, for the last couple years. This makes me surprisingly grumpy at my coworkers, but very fond of the people at the chiropractor’s office.
Justin is sick. He caught something Sunday and has been down for the count Monday and today. Which means he’s slept most of the day, up for about 3 hours during the day, and then he’s up in the evening for a while. The sheets are in the washing machine as I type this. They were smelling distinctly “slept in,” if you know what I mean.
I’m having one of those weeks at work where I wonder why I’m doing what I’m doing instead of something that actually might make a difference, like massage therapy. Or teaching yoga. Or running a book store. Something that has a feeling of accomplishment involved, instead of this repeated frustration of doing the same task for every project that has to be checked off the list of requirements but that no one really cares to look through except me. I’m getting really tired of it. And I work for a good company that treats the employees well, with good pay and great benefits and I can’t complain that there’s any hardship involved with what I do at all. It’s just that the whole points of what I’m doing for the company doesn’t seem to make a lick of difference and I’m tired of spending 40 hours a week doing something that doesn’t matter.
And that’s all nothing but grumpiness.
I’ve been really wanting to decorate the house for fall (even though it’s still really hot here) so here are a couple pictures of ideas I saw and liked.
(I actually did these candles last year and they turned out super cute.)
I think every job has its moments of feeling pointless. Raising kids did. The youth center did. My job now does. We are, in reality, always only a little piece of a bigger picture and when we concentrate on our littleness, we might lose track of our part in making the whole what it is – something that we can be proud to be a part of. This is all to say that changing jobs won’t guarantee you won’t feel this way again. But if you want to change jobs, that could be a good thing to. Just don’t do it until Justin has a job you can depend on.
Love,
Mom